Watching liberals salivate over the Cohen plea deal is both sad and hilarious: sad because I hate seeing people, even lunatics, act desperately, and hilarious because the entire premise by which Cohen was shaken down is so full of holes that to think it will bring down Trump is laughable.
Here’s how it all went down.
During the Presidential race of 2016 the Clinton Campaign funded a “dossier” to dig up dirt on Trump. That dossier, which has been widely discredited, was then used by intelligence agencies to secure questionable warrants, such as the FISA warrant used to snare Carter Page, for Trump’s associates and members of his campaign team in their bid to uncover “collusion” (what they’ve uncovered instead is that Michael Cohen is a terrible person and bringing Trump down will require a level of corruption egregious even for Washington).
Among the dossier’s most absurd claims: that Trump was present while Russian prostitutes urinated on each other in Moscow, of which there is zero proof, and that Trump’s long-time attorney Michael Cohen made a trip to Prague, Czech Republic to meet with Russian officials, an allegation that has been refuted by Cohen’s newfound counsel and decades-long Clinton bitchboy Lanny Davis.
It was these alleged trips to Prague that opened the door to the investigation of Cohen, an obvious dirtbag who has since pleaded guilty to, among other things, tax fraud and false statements to a bank.
Faced with these charges, and ever-mounting legal bills, Cohen soon hired Davis, who isn’t even known as a well-practiced trial lawyer.
Why on Earth would Trump’s lawyer, faced with multiple serious charges, hire a Clinton ally whose reputation as a trial lawyer is basically nonexistent? After all, a trial was coming!
Easy! The Feds knew that if they could catch Cohen in his own dirty dealings, which have nothing to do with the President, they could squeeze him and get him to talk about, or perhaps make shit up about, the President for a reduced sentence. Given Cohen’s past, the “make shit up” route seems highly likely.
And this is where we are. A soon-to-be-felon is the hero du jour for anti-Trump liberals who have repeatedly hung their hopes on lowlife after lowlife, including washed up comedians and porn stars, in their bid to topple the President.
Dirty cops used a dirty dossier to secure unlawful warrants and squeeze the President’s attorney, a known liar, into confessing to a payment and, they hope, much more. I’m so old I remember when liberals were against overzealous law enforcement. Now that Trump is President, however, principles take a back seat to avenging Hillary’s defeat by any means necessary.
Let’s face it: if Mueller’s investigation was a criminal trial it would have been dismissed long ago due to law enforcement cover ups and prosecutorial misconduct. And Cohen would be laughed out of court as an unreliable witness.
Were they truly interested in collusion, Mueller and his deep state cronies would fill a paddy wagon with the Clinton campaign members who financed a dossier with verified information from Russian intelligence. They have an actual document funded by Democrats that according to its author contains information from Russian intelligence agencies, but rather than lockup actual criminals they prefer instead to investigate a romp in the sheets from 13 years ago.
This is the true nature of the “collusion” investigation: a botched scavenger hunt in which the investigators are now grasping at straws to not look like complete jerkoffs. And nearly half the country supports it.
I swear, some days I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.