UPDATE: Lawson, an HR manager at a local accounting firm, was fired the next morning for a menstruation joke he made in high school.

“Look, the term ‘cancel culture’ is just right-wing propaganda meant to disable accountability,” said Kurt Lawson from the patio of McLeod’s Irish Pub in Newton, MA. “Life’s not fair and racists get fired,” continued the proud Amherst alum as he walked toward the all-gender restroom.

He grinned at his reflection in the mirror as he pissed, proud that he always made a point to stand up for the oppressed when it was convenient.

After not washing his hands and picking his nose he returned to the table to declare: “fire all the bastards. This is our country now.”